Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Goodbye 2013. . .

I'm not patting myself on my back until I've hit "published" on this post. This is one of many things that I'm hoping to have written up before the stroke of midnight. And, me, I'm the type to be sitting there 30 minutes to midnight rapidly writing what would usually take me twice as long to do.

That is probably the one regret I take from this year, not doing what I said I would. Or would have liked to do.
Of course now that I try to think about it I can not name a new goal from this year that has not carried over from previous years.
Sadly, for this year I think that I could probably break it down into reasons why I didn't do most of them.

I've mentioned that the Summer of 2013 was not my best. What I haven't shared was that it was a pretty dark one for me.
I'll let you come up with your own definition of "dark." Than if you can; go even darker.
The only memory I'd like to carry with me from May to August would be my constantly breaking into tears going on about how this was going to be the Summer where everything changed. How I had plans.

The only thing that changed was that I proved that I never bluff. Which is the main thing I'd like to forget about this year. So of course it's going to stick with me forever.

I in no way meant for this post to go south. But then again I don't think that was my intentions for the year.
The reason I want to remember my four month long tear-fest is because I in no way plan to let that happen ever again.
People always feel the need to remind me that I do it all to myself, and yeah I get that you're only as happy as you make yourself out to be. But it's kind of hard to keep smiling when someone keeps knocking down your sandcastles.
And, for me, the person kicking down my castles is the same person telling me it's my own fault.

Everything before and after the summer is kind of a blur. This Fall felt so rushed.
Which I kind of appreciate. If only because I feel that everything kind of mellowed out for me. I spent October in fear that November was going to suck. November is rarely a good month for me. Then I spent November waiting for that boot to drop. It didn't. But then again with all that boot dropping in those four months I guess I was finally bootless.

And because of that it has been a pretty amazing holiday season. I think I might even be a calmer "just go with" type of person.
Oh when that new boot drops it's gonna leave a mark!

Because that's the thing about life: there's always going to be a boot to knock down your sandcastles.

Wouldn't that be an awesome closing quote?

But I'm not done yet.
I clearly didn't think this post out when I started it, then again when do I?

So to turned things around I'm going to look for the plus side of the year.

Immediately coming to mind: The Grease sing-along at the Hollywood Bowl! Honestly Grease is the one bright light of my dark summer. I probably watched it at least 15 times in the two months following the sing-along. Three or four being in that week.

I learned a lot, like all the inappropriate comments that make you questions your parents' judgment when they let you watch it at such a young age.
But I did also find an innocence's to it: they're all just kids living life not knowing what's outside of those high school walls.
It was a total light bulb moment when that hit me. Of course by this point I had figured out all the innuendos so I had to think about something.
I am very grateful to have had this movie there to turn my mind off of everything that I should have been doing.
Hopefully I'll be able to squeeze it in one more time this year.

Second memorable thing from this year: The Elvis Festival.

Alright, digging deeper here. I also grew closer to my younger cousin.
I tried new things, that I can hopefully use to my advantage for next year. Last month I did manage to do one of those things I cried about not doing in the summer and learned that it was not worth crying for. Staying on that note I also learned that I can not sketch.

I met a lot of amazing authors (see right panel for slideshow).

I got a scholarship for a convention that took me to Las Vegas, which is probably the only time in my life that I'll be able to say that.

Oh and I was also chased out of a church with holy water.
And you thought your relatives were annoying. Mine throw holy water at me. Sadly this wasn't even the first time.

Can I go back to all those things that I wanted to do? One of them was look back at this year's post, because I personally think that some of things I say are pretty awesome. Especially if when I look back I can't remember what possessed me to say it in the first place.
But that might be saved for the blogaversery week in April. Going on 3 years!

One post I did manage to reread was a Quotable Quotes from January where I shared that I always find an inspirational quote to represent the coming year. And while I've yet to think of one for 2014, I think for now it'd be best to carry over the quote I picked for 2013:
Keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart.
from the Eli Young Band.

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