Monday, March 2, 2015

On Turning 25

I turned 25 a month ago. And during my birthday post I said I had enough thoughts to stretch them out into a complete post.
I also said that hopefully I'd get to that post sooner than later.
Well I guess a month is better than later.

One thing I can say about being 25; clearly not much has changed.

Or anything really.

As I was getting ready to sit down and write this post, I found a few things to procrastinate with first. Along the way I found the letter I wrote the night before my birthday.

In case you didn't read my birthday post- or don't remember it, because why would you?- I wrote out 25 things about me and one of them was that I've written letters to myself on the night before my birthday since high school.

This one was probably the shortest I've written, honestly a part of me probably thought I wasn't even going to bother.
I've posted it on the blog that I'm always forgetting about if you're curious.

I don't remember what I was thinking when I wrote that letter. Apparently I was feeling nauseous though, while I don't actually remember that, I do remember feeling pretty weird or wired the morning after.

I do remember that attitude behind it. I've accepted my place in this world. I may not be where I had thought I'd be or where most people think I should be. Or even experienced half the things most people my age have.
And trust me the days after my birthday were filled with people telling me all they had and had done by the time they were my age. Kids, marriage, new worlds.

My response for most of them was: "And how do you feel about that?" High percentage are actually pretty happy I'm not married or have kids.
Especially kids.

And I'm happy too.
I don't want, nor am I ready, for any of that yet.
As selfish as it might sound; I like being the center of my world.

I've accepted what I have and am working to get what I don't.
I've accepted that it will not being easy. It's kind of like having a crutch sometimes. The simplest things turn out to be huge deals.
But I'm sidetracking here.

I've noticed a new bolder confidence in myself, which I am very much enjoying. And also finding kind of annoying. Every once in awhile I feel like I need to tell myself to calm down. Or tone it down.

There's a lot I'd like to change about myself at this age. Like the amount it takes me to get a post done. The amount of time it takes to start one.
And let's pretend that "post" means pretty much everything I want to do.
I'd also like to be able to stick with one topic instead of going off in another direction.

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