Friday, April 21, 2017

"Postoversary" aka The Beginning of the End

6:17 PM, April 21, 2011.
My first post, that I probably spent three or four days writing, finally went up!

I started the week with an "I don't want to think about it" attitude, but now that I have my marbles in order (or whatever) I have to say it's been a pretty great six years.

Like with everything the start was not an easy one. I didn't know how long I would do it, I probably would not have been surprised if I had given up before the year was over.

Those first seven months are weird to look at now, which is why I'd rather not. You think I'm weird now. Apparently I've somehow managed to tame it?
Maybe I've learned a better way to express myself.
I hope so. If I take anything from this experience I'd love to know it's that my form of writing improved.
And I do think it has, I look back on some reviews I wrote early on and immediately want to rewrite them. On the other hand I look at some of my more recent reviews and can't believe I came up with something like it. (Although I will admit that some have been phoned in.)

The best part of all: They don't take me days to write anymore! Alright that might not be entirely true, but that's the procrastinator in me. It takes forever to get started but once I do there's no stopping me.
True for all my posts.

I finally have the hang of it all. So of course it's a perfect time to walk away. As I said in a post earlier this weekthe end of this week might be the beginning of the end for me.
Can I point out that I said might? At no point in that entire post did I give an affirmative. It's all "I think this will be my last year."
I also said I wasn't "of sound mind." Because that's an excuse.

Mind frame aside, I did also say it was something I've been thinking about for a while now. Last year I did make the promise of making it to seven years but I also said it might be my last. At the time I doubt I was thinking, two more years and that's it. For me it's always been keep going until they make you stop. Who 'they' might be, I don't know since I also said that nothing short of a major life change was going to stop me. And even then I doubt it would have kept me down too long; as I've also said this is my constant, and it's always there when I need somewhere to go.

I was in tears when I finished writing that post, to be fair my tears have been on and off all week for various reasons, but this time it was for the blog. I can't imagine walking away from it, and I kept reminding myself that I could totally change my mind in the coming year. I did say might.
I even tried to convince myself that I should take a six month break and see if I really want to give it up. I may or may not consider it.

But really I think it's time to start letting go. When I started I said it was mainly because I had a lot going through my mind so I might as well write some of it down. Of course I still have a lot going though my mind and as much as I'd like to keep writing it down, and trust me this year will be filled with them, I do think it's time to start the Farewell tour. Where my thoughts will go from then on, I don't have a clue.
Maybe I will be back six months later.

Something I kept pointing out while I was freaking out about this decision was that; it's a year from now! 12 months! 365 days!
That's at least 24 more book reviews (I only do two a month). On here anyway I will still be reviewing books on Goodreads. 50 more songs of the moment (although I would like to keep adding songs to those playlist even if I'm not sharing them) and who knows how many thoughts.
Now is not the time to start coming up wit a final post and saying goodbye.

Here's to one more year.

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