Monday, November 27, 2017

Best of: On Spoilers

*Originally posted January 6, 2014

A few years ago I would have describe myself as "driven" by spoilers. I would always be looking for information on what was going to happen next in a series.

I needed to know.

And then when I found those spoilers I needed to quickly read to find out why, or how, it happens.
"Will dies! How! Why! But I love Will!"
That actually is a spoiler I'm just not saying which book this Will dies in.

See what I did there: spoiler without spoiling.

Over time I've stopped doing that; and now usually get mad when I find out what's going to happen in the next book. Which is something that I'm always doing when I accidently read the description of the next book before I'm even done with the one before it.
And it is an accident when that happens! Sometimes it's the author excitedly sharing the back cover or the announcement of the next book in the series. They're so hard to look away from!

But see the key word there? Accidental

It's not like the author posted: "I'm going to kill Will in chapter 20." or "Don't worry about their relationship, they're engaged in book 3 so clearly he's proposing by the end of book 2. And book 2 will end with a cliffhanger."

Though cliffhangers are kind of a given with second books in trilogies nowadays.

But no one just blurts out spoilers.
Except jerks.

And I am sorry, but that is an incredibly jerky thing to do!

Just because you don't like that the author killed Will doesn't mean you have to tell the whole world about it! Why not just go stand outside a bookstore with a big sign telling everyone not to read the book. Or better yet tell them to boycott the author.

That'll show them for not giving you the end you wanted!

Take that Veroni. . . author that killed Will.

Of course that's exactly how the world works, just because you didn't like something you have to go and ruin it for everyone else.
I bet these people were super fun at birthday parties growing up.

I've been there before, I finish this awesome book and need to talk about it with someone, but unfortunately it's an advanced copy and no one else has read it yet. Or in normal circumstances, some didn't run out on pub. day and devoured it before sun up the next day.
And I'm in no way judging those who do, been there done that. Devoured that book.

But some people don't discover certain books right away. All I'm saying is, just because you know what happens doesn't mean everyone else does. So shut up.
The reason they're reading the book is because they want to find out themselves. They don't need to find out in a tweet.

Amazing isn't it? Books can now be ruined in under 140 characters!

Which happened to me a few months ago, I saw a retweet that said "Well at least at the end of [some book] [so and so] is still alive!"
It wasn't too hard to figure out what they were talking about seeing as how their user name was a book title that had just come out.

My first thought: "Oh so the main character dies, huh? Well I guess it makes sense that all of a sudden we're getting a duel POV."

Honestly, I wasn't angry when I saw it. Right away.
My second thought, was somewhere along the lines of: "What the hell is wrong with this person? The book has barely been out for a month!"

Alright, a month, enough time for the "die-hard" fans to have read it.
But; 1) again, other people in the world!
And 2) I really don't think that a real book fan would do such a crappy thing.

Because, book fans? They probably know exactly where I'm coming from with this; because they've most likely been on the same boat.
I've met real book fans, I know that they were because when I mentioned that I haven't read a book that they had; they just gave me a small knowing smile and said "Things get really good for the story in it."
Not: "Oh! Read it quick! The two characters finally hook up but it doesn't last long because Will may or may not die!"

And more importantly real book fans know a little thing called SPOLIER WARNINGS!

It's this magical little concept you use to tell people that you'll be ranting about how much you hate that Will died, and only those curious enough to know will see them.

I was just getting over the twitter incident when it happened all over again. A small, vengeful, part of me kind of wants to go around and ruin books for these people, see what they think about it.
Alright, I'll admit, it's not that small.

*While writing this I thought of, maybe, four different stories with characters named Will that die- apparently it's not a name associated with longevity- but I wasn't referring to any of them. Except that first reference, where I said that it is a spoiler.
All other mentions were just me going with it.
I am not now currently upset over the death of a character named Will.
It's just a name.

Like Rosebud was just a sled.
I didn't just ruin the end of Citizen Kane for you did I?

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