Wednesday, March 28, 2018

I Confess

I confess, this is yet another post I am unprepared for.

I confess that I might have had a few ideas but, like always, didn't stop to write them down.

I confess that I still have a few things that I wouldn't be opposed to sharing, but I also must confess that those confessions won't mean as much without an explanation which I'd rather not give.

I had planned on giving three confessions and it looks like I just did. Good night everybody!

I confess that I have ghosted a guy. For my own mental health. It was a forced meeting, I repeatedly told the overly pushy ladies no and they insisted I do so anyway because as they put it "What have you got to lose?" Answer: 1) 30 minutes of my life that was filled with awkward conversation that mainly consisted of him playing 20 Questions trying to find one thing we might have in common. 2) Sleep because I felt bad about being forced into the situation and ended up feeling like I was being controlled. Also for what I did and was about to continue doing to the guy because he was also pushed into this mess, even if he did so willingly. 3) My mind, the only reason I didn't snap is because I talked with a psychology student that week and she told me that snapping in public is a bad idea.

The guy didn't help himself either, two calls and four text messages in under three minutes. One that consisted of nothing but emojis (what are you a teenaged girl?). Not to mention looking at me like a small child looks at their presents on Christmas morning; I half expected him to look at the lady forcing us together and ask "I can keep her?"

Truly I am sorry for how things ended because he really was an innocent pawn in some stupid lady's game, but I needed to put myself first so I proceeded to act like it never happened and take back control over what I do and who I meet in my life.

I confess that I sometimes try to use the information from people who overshare against them.
I'm evil. And a bitch.
And am prone to feeling bad about all the "fabulous" things they claim to have.

I confess I often fear not getting what I want in life for fear of actually getting it.

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