Monday, April 16, 2018

Letter to My 2018 Self from 2015 Me

Letter To My Future Self
April 16, 2015
Dear Future Me:
What are we 28? 30?

Are we still blogging at 30?
I'm not sure if I hope so. I know I won't be stopping anytime soon, and I honestly don't see myself wanting to stop.

I'm sure there'll be a point sometime in the next 5 years that'll make me disappear. I definitely hope not. The disappearing part, I mean, I have all hopes that something will come along and change things.
I just don't want to be one of those bloggers that just stops. Their blog there waiting to be remembered, with the last post showing no indication that they had any intentions of stopping. And who knows what their reasons were, life does tend to get in the way.
And I hope by this point in our life that life has gotten in the way.

Of course I am always saying that I'll never use that as an excuse. We're not sitting in a room just reading and blogging.
Gods I hope that's not what were doing in the future.
Life is going on. At the moment I'm still behind on reviews that needed to be written in November.

You probably remember why, that class we had to take at night, with the guy that would annoy you so much you'd be too frustrated to read?
I do hope you don't remember him. And not that I'm blaming him for falling behind on reviews.

My point is priorities. Blogging is probably nobody's top priority. I don't think it even makes top 5. All I'm asking is if you ever get to the point where blogging seems like an effort and you feel like you've said everything that you could, I want to go out with a bang.
Or at least a farewell post. It took us an entire week to write our start up post, so a final one seems only appropriate.

You probably don't remember writing this, because I sure don't and it was only 11 months for me:

I once met a guy named Zach who said if you love what you do, you never work a day in your life. I know a lot of people say that but when he said it you bought it.
I wrote that 3 years ago and met Zach -who traveled for his job-when I was 19 so of course I was going to buy it.
Not that I don't believe that now because, it is true. I love to read and I enjoy writing. I never want to make it feel like work and the minute it does I make myself stop.

I'm not trying to change the world; and I'm sure no one wakes up thinking "I wonder what Diana wrote today."
So it's not like everything is going to stop just because I take frequent breaks from writing here.
Not that I plan to stop or take a prolonged break anytime soon.
I just like knowing that I can.

It's comforting knowing that I can go to class, go to work, hang out with whoever, lose my mind (again) this summer from too much time around my sister's kids and do what I'm going to do, and everything here will still be here. Because in the end that's what keeps me coming back, this blog is a home base, like books it'll always be here for me.

We all have our difference reasons for when things get out of control- though in the end we all call it life- but for me when I lose control the best thing I can do is stop and start over on what I do have control over. Like blogging.

It's basically what I said when I first started: I'm doing this for me.
Yes I write reviews for authors who send me their books but if I don't feel like writing, no matter how much I enjoyed the book, they're probably not going to get a raving review worth reading.

I do hope we never forget Zach. Any of the Zachs we encountered that summer, really. I hope we don't forget that mind frame we had at 19 and all the silly, ridiculous things we would say.
Like admitting that just because a good looking guy said what millions others say you finally believed it.
Sorry to our 19 year old self though but I've got to question that. I mean there has to be a day where it's just "Ugg! Work!"
And like I said above if we ever get to the point where blogging feels that way than let's just call it a day.
But please do think it out and consider everything else I said: the world isn't ending because you miss a week and this can be all you want it to be- the second and third blogoverseries included complete switch ups, and I'm always adding new things so it's never the same thing- this is my home base and even if we do find a new, better, one maybe this can be a home base from that.

Another reason I'd like to give up blogging: Going completely off track on my posts.
Why am I talking about quitting? It's not happening anytime soon.

How weird would it be if this turned out to be my last post?
Weird and impossible because I plan on writing more as soon as I figure out what the point of this letter was.
Of course with that goal I might never finish!

Has anyone blogged for more than 5 years? Of course the real question is has anyone made it to 10?
I sure would like to find out; first hand.

Things here have changed in the last four years but still, sometimes it does feel like instead of going up this blog is just moving sideways, like a video game character cornered into a wall. And that's on me to change, maybe by ignoring that let's skip the week thoughts that go on? Remembering that I'm doing it for us?

I'm trying. I am. And I hope that we stick with it and that when I'm 28, or maybe even 30, I can write a post here looking back at the letter I wrote to myself at age 25 and think: And at the time I thought I was nuts at 15!

Let's not lose this crazy, I'm pretty sure it's a large percentage of what's kept this blog going for the last 4 years.

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